Written by It’s now nearly 2 weeks since our good friend Pam was taken from us, and life has to go on. We have a tribute set up on our fridge in magnetic letters but it still seems unreal. I don’t think I will feel the full emotion of what has happened until we attend her funeral.
However, I am trying to adopt a more ‘Pam’ style of living – we used to chat about a lot of things including my need to make some new friends and generally get out more. James and I spend far too much time on our computers and we should go out experience life a bit more. So, we have been arranging meeting up with as many friends as possible lately and we intend to make more of an effort full stop. Photos as well – we need to start taking photos of evenings out and places we visit – we hardly have any of our own of Pammy.
But amid all this, I keep feeling a sense of guilt. I know that Pam would approve, but it feels wrong to be going out and enjoying myself when she’s only just gone.
It’s a strange one for me as of all the people I have know who have died, apart from Pam they have all been at least 30 years older than me, and I could say, they’ve had a good life. Pam still had so much ahead of her, and because of her bright and outgoing personality, it’s difficult to find any phrase to provide a bit of comfort.
I suppose I just have to ask myself what would Pam say to me if she were here – I know the answer, so I should hold onto that advice when I start to feel guilty.
I miss you gorgeous. xx
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Sandra,
If what happened to our lovely Pammy has taught me anything it is to make the most of what we have, go get what we want and live life to the full. What you’ve said is spot on and you shouldn’t feel guilty about making the most of things because that is exactly what Pam would want us all to do. I am trying to do the same and it is hard sometimes and I have wobbly moments but I guess that is normal. It is almost impossible to describe the impact Pam had on us and what it is like without her now. And although at times it is unbearably sad, we will have to fill the gap with wonderful new people and experiences and always remember the best times we had with her.
Don’t feel guilty, but feel lucky and proud to have known such an amazing person and be glad for the time you knew her. And that is all we can do. People like Pam are never forgotten and always loved.
xxKxx
Perfectly put Kerry. I feel incredibly privileged to have know Pammy, and have so many fantastic memories of her. I know you, Craig, Caleb, James and I will never forget her xx